I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
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