his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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