found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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