you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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