that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
