is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
