i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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