Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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