if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
