A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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