The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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