Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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