Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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