I feel like I'm in dance class right now
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
