thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
