That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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