Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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