just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
