Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
