just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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