I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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