just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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