Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
