Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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