i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
