I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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