i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
