It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
