Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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