yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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