Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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