I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
