I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
All I want is dick and wine.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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