I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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