idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
