i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
