dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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