Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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