how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
