Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
