So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
