i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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