On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
