Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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