At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
