So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Randomize
