flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
