Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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