i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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