Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
