Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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